A long time ago
I got used to living with
My open wounds,
The last withered while
I was staring at the sunset
In the middle of the fog.
Yes, you told me so many times
About your suffering,
How your heart shrunk
Fisted in bleeding red
While your eyes tasted
The salt of the ocean waves
And cristal pearls were running
Down your cheeks.
On that plane you felt
The freezing coldness
Where just one thing
Would not freeze:
The fountain of your tears.
Yes, indeed I remember
All the pain on that plane.
You sent me back to the
Land of rejection.
Yet I am a resilient rock
With my withered wounds
That I carry since ancient times
On this eroded earth.
But to exist is to resist
And so I dwell in human hearts
Who care for each other.
And may I receive your boasting waves
Crashing on my shores
Those hearts will restore me again
For I am silent love and not vain.
© October 2018 Marta Pombo Sallés
Silence is golden ….
And so is your poem, Marta.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, David. I always appreciate your great feedback.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Every word flowed on the tide
of this deeply felt poem.
I felt the wounds, and tasted
the ocean salt. Very well written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you again, David. I really appreciate your great feedback!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, David. I always appreciate your great feedback.
LikeLike
Get rid of first 4 lines and whole 4th stanza and you have the heart of the poem. The first 4 lines are merely poet’s way of trying to find a footing, solid ground to begin poem, so now they are not needed. Nice poem by the way. When you get to the heart of it, there’s much depth of thought and imagery.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your advice, Donald. No doubt I will give it a thought. I remember you already suggested further changes in two poems of mine. I do appreciate your critique because it is not destructive, but honest and meant for poetic improvement, where I am just an absolutely amateur person attempting to write poems in English, my third language. You are all great writers and faithful followers, actually very encouraging people. I still have your previous feedback for improvement in mind plus this new one. However, I will not change this post now. My idea would be to post a new version of this poem and of the other two later on with your suggestions and, obviously, referencing you. I think this is a fair thing to everyone, to me, to you and to the rest of the blog followers. How do you like this idea?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t have a third language, just two, so I am in awe of your writing. I have tutored many ESL people, and I wouldn’t have guessed English wasn’t your first language. If anyone would’ve noticed it, I would’ve. I tend to critique with intent to make the writer aware of what I am seeing, so I’m sorry if I seem to be too critical. Of course I have no right to tell you what to do with the poem, but I’ll keep critiquing like this unless you tell me not to. You’re a great writer, of course, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Donald. Much appreciated. Everything is fine. You are not too critical. People tend to be “too nice”. What is your other language?
LikeLiked by 1 person
French
LikeLiked by 1 person
Je parle seulement un peu de français. C’est pareil au Catalan, ma langue maternelle. However, my English and my German are much better because I work with these languages and need to concentrate on them. Au revoir!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Je parle francais beaucoup meilleure depuis j’ai ecoute les Audible dans Francais.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice poem Marta! I enjoyed reading it and listening to you read it!;)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Stella. So glad you enjoyed it, also listening to it. This is good practice for my English. Remember it is my third language after Catalan and Spanish!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was my pleasure and you have a wonderful voice. Your soft accent was perfect for reading such a great poem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. It is good training to go to open mics in Barcelona and also to the ones in the San Francisco Bay Area where I try to spend my vacation when possible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good! I’ve spent some time in San Francisco in my childhood! It’s a beautiful area!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful and powerful lines penned
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed this poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow Marta, awesome and every word of poetry flew across the waves. Too good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kamal. This is a very encouraging comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome Marta and what a beautiful poem on silent love that does not speak.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awesome🌹
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To paraphrase a popular song, “This is your fight song/Take back your life song…”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow, Gary, these are beautiful words. Great to hear from you again!
LikeLike
This is so lovely! The first 3 lines make for an absolutely perfect beginning.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Susan. So glad you like the whole poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful and powerful lovely blogs
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Anita. So glad you like this.
LikeLike
so very lovely!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Neha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well to exist is to resist…. dwelling in human hearts is exactly the essence of the poem. I guess after enough trials most of us have learnt to live with our wounds. The special trait of us women is to beautify our pains and rather than existing dwell in hearts.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Tanya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nice poem. Really felt it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woah, it’s mesmerizing, dear poetess you shine 💕💕
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you again, Monika. You made my day! I am just an amateur person attempting to write poetry. Love your poems!
LikeLiked by 2 people